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Tangled- Parents as First Responders

Sticks and stones have been replaced with clicks and phones.

shutterstock_113919517 Parent InvolvementWelcome back to my 5 part series on Parent Involvement called Tangled! (Previous posts in series here). In this final post of the series, I’ll address our parental role as crisis counselor.

Concerned about child abductions, cyber bullying, gangs, and mind altering substances– today parents are concerned. Rightly so.

The playground has gotten bigger….and it’s all inclusive. The internet is a web that entices and captures. The lure of social media satisfies two human needs: curiosity and belonging. Kids still want the very same thing we wanted on the jungle gym. A bar to grab and a place to hang.

The goals haven’t changed only the methods to achieve them.

Awareness can be the ticket to despair.  Social media can be the glue that binds or a pie in the face.  A relentless slideshow of images, tweets and videos viewed by many as evidence of the green grass elsewhere.

Parents are first responders. Like soldiers in foreign lands, we don’t always know who the enemy is or when the next drama bomb will go off.

All parents need to learn CPR:  Care. Protect. Respond.  Here’s some tips to help comfort and guide your children during crisis.

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Tangled- Parents as Coaches

You may be on the sidelines watching them but they are always on the sidelines watching you.

shutterstock_113919517 Parent InvolvementWelcome back to my 5 part series on Parent Involvement called Tangled! (Previous posts in series here). A tricky and often messy subject worthy of controversy. In this series, I’ll try and untangle the common parenting dilemmas related to our roles as disciplinarians, mediators, teachers, coaches and therapists.

And we think the biggest battle in America is between political parties? Well then you haven’t been to a kids soccer game recently!

Open up your collapsable chair at your own risk. And pack a concealed weapon. Duct tape. Read more

Tangled- Parents as Disciplinarians

Discipline should be synonymous with teaching not punishment.

shutterstock_113919517 Parent InvolvementWelcome back to my 5 part series on Parent Involvement called Tangled! (Previous posts in series here). A tricky and often messy subject worthy of controversy. In this series, I’ll try and untangle the common parenting dilemmas related to our roles as disciplinarians, mediators, teachers, coaches and therapists.

I’d like to start this discussion on common ground. It’s far too easy to jump right into the ring and debate parenting techniques, punishments, or how young is too young to leave a child home alone. The list of parenting dilemmas keeps growing as our technological universe expands.

I believe we can, we must, create a home base on stable ground from which we can tweak, turn and twist our methods to adapt to children who spend more time on Facebook and YouTube than they do building forts in the basement. Or playing outside with friends they can actually see.

Regardless of your beliefs about discipline, there are 5 fundamental needs of children that must be met to have a stable home. Read more

Tangled- Parents as Mediators

Mediation is the invaluable skill of positive manipulation.

shutterstock_113919517 Parent InvolvementWelcome back to my 5 part series on Parent Involvement called Tangled! (Part I here). A tricky and often messy subject worthy of controversy. In this series, I’ll try and untangle the common parenting dilemmas related to our roles as disciplinarians, mediators, teachers, coaches and therapists.

Kids in conflict. It starts on the playground and doesn’t end until senior prom. Or does it end? In the grips of social media today, sometimes I wake up in a time warp back in middle school. Middle age drama isn’t so different. (Didn’t we mature?!)

Now more than ever, parents need to be great mediators! Sure, there are times to be dictator (stay tuned for Parents as Disciplinarians) but mediating can be the most effective way to prepare your children for the real world. Let’s take a close-up look.

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Tangled- Parents as Teachers

Teach your kids how to fly before you set them free.

shutterstock_113919517 Parent InvolvementWelcome to my 5 part series on Parent Involvement called Tangled! A tricky and often messy subject worthy of controversy. In this series, I’ll try and untangle the common parenting dilemmas related to our roles as disciplinarians, mediators, teachers, coaches and therapists.

How much you should help your 1st grader on their homework? How should you intervene if you daughter is picked on by other girls? Or should you?

What if your child constantly complains about their teacher? What if your child athlete isn’t maximizing his potential on the playing field?

Should your home be a dictatorship or a democracy?  Do you want your child’s friends to hang out at your house?

You may want to shake or hug me, and that may shift depending on which post in the series you’re reading. With no parenting manual exiting the womb with a crying newborn, we might as well learn from parents whose children are blowing their own bubbles out in the real world.

These parents, like me, now sit back with excitement and trepidation. We watch their bubbles soar up into the blue, praying and hoping not too many pop in their face. We privately yearn for repeated validation that we did our number one job well. Read more

Be Thankful

Be Thankful by skitz Read more

The 5 Things Those in the Driver’s Seat Want You To Know

Being in control ALL the time can be exhausting.

Who are the strong leaders in your life? Those you can count on to be decisive. That uncanny ability to cut through a mess to bring the light shining in. We all know someone we love to hate because they always seem to have their s@#t together. But deep down we don’t hate them. We appreciate having them in our lives. They are our solid wall, firmly grounded, and we know we can throw any ball at the wall and it will bounce back to us in a way we can catch it. Read more

Anchors Away: A Key To Ending Conflict & Triggering Peak Performance

Mastering the skill of anchoring and change virtually any area of your life.

Remember your first love? The phone ringing was enough to send chills down your spine. A positive anchor so strong that your beloved could display a dozen bad habits and you wouldn’t even bat an eye.

Why do some relationships that start out so good turn south and never come up to see the bright sky again? Why do our kids roll their eyes and do just the opposite of what we ask when we’re only trying to protect them? Read more

From Babies to Buddies

The time to become friends with your kids is after they leave the nest.

It seems like just a short while ago, we found out we were expecting a baby. Igniting our will to give him or her every opportunity imaginable. We would build a fortress to protect our baby from harm, disappointment, and all of the tough challenges we knew he or she would have to face in this world.

I spent plenty of time envisioning the kind of mom I wanted to be. The one whose children would come talk to her about anything. One of those cool moms. The best friend kind that always shows tolerance and understanding.

I wanted our house to be the “go to” shelter. With an awesome basement and super cool parents, surely all the kids would want to hang out at our house. That way I could insure their safety and be a part of things.

It didn’t take me long to switch the channel from Leave it to Beaver to Gilligan’s Island, where survival depended more on leadership and compromise than popularity. Read more

Spare the Hammer But Not the Wrench

Spanking should be abolished entirely.

I was spanked as a kid. I guess I turned out ok.

Think you needed a good whippin’ to learn your lessons when you were little? I imagine a lot of heads shaking with a “Yes, ma’am”. There’s a good chance you “Yes, ma’am’ers” believe your children deserve the same. Read more