Is There Such Thing as a Balanced Life?
If you’re life is filled with “to do’s,” “honey do’s,” and “absolutely gotta do’s,” you are not alone. The demands keep coming yet 24 hours will forever remain the amount of time in a day to meet all those demands.
Entering the blog world has exposed me to so many wisdom centers in our world. Themes of struggle, disconnect, and overwhelm are flooding the internet.
People are searching for a balance of home, career, spirituality, adventure, challenge, fulfillment, and the list goes on.
I have read more tips and strategies about how to lead a balanced life that I’m ready to walk a tightrope.
Oh yeah, I’m already on it.
Except I fall. I get back up. I fall again. I’ve lived much of my life frustrated because I can’t keep my balance on the tightrope long enough to get to the other side. I carry the huge bar to help me but there’s always people yanking’ on it. Damn!
I was in my mid 40’s and here is what I realized about walking that tightrope:
- I have to be too careful.
- I can’t focus long enough to do one thing well.
- I’m afraid I’ll screw up, irreparably.
- I’m never fully committed.
- I say “yes” when I want to say “no.” I say “no” when I should say “yes.”
I tried to achieve balance as a busy, working mother and self-employed business owner. I managed all these years and raised 3 kids. So what’s the problem?
Frustration. Always challenged to figure “it” out and find a better balance.
So once again the power of questions!! Ask yourself the right question and solutions appear on a silver platter.
“What is happening when I feel totally free?”
Answer: “When I immerse myself in something that has an outcome.”
What thoughts and actions did that question trigger to change my approach to life?
My life is NOT about balance.
It’s about regular trade-offs.
I live on a teeter-totter instead of a balance beam.
I can shift hourly, daily, weekly, monthly or yearly. I shift consciously.
I give 80% (as opposed to 50%) to a task or mission for a set time.
I accept that 100% focus may be unrealistic but 80% feels wonderful. (Read more on the 80/20 principle)
There is incredible joy in commitment and focus.
No more guilt because I define parameters of my commitments and inform those affected by my decisions. Everyone knows what to expect.
I’m less fearful about overextending myself.
I commit to opportunities I actually want.
I ask for support from those who depend on me.
I don’t neglect, I request. Cooperation is much less difficult when I simply ask for support.
I give the gift back.
The two greatest gifts I can give people I love are the time to focus on something they really want and my undivided attention.
Do you wish to become spiritually enlightened, write a book, change careers, train for a race, or start a new relationship? Focus is what leads to these results.
With focus, we gain momentum. Momentum = Energy.
When we focus on keeping everything balanced, we spread ourselves too thin. In our attempt to satisfy everyone, we often satisfy no one, including ourselves.
Now I enjoy the bedtime talk with my daughter more. Now the ideas flow when I write. Now I read the chapter once because my mind is immersed in the book. Now I notice the sun rise when I run because I’m not thinking about my grocery list.
Give yourself and those you love permission to focus.
Balance truly is for the birds.