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The 5 Things Those in the Driver’s Seat Want You To Know

Being in control ALL the time can be exhausting.

Who are the strong leaders in your life? Those you can count on to be decisive. That uncanny ability to cut through a mess to bring the light shining in. We all know someone we love to hate because they always seem to have their s@#t together. But deep down we don’t hate them. We appreciate having them in our lives. They are our solid wall, firmly grounded, and we know we can throw any ball at the wall and it will bounce back to us in a way we can catch it.

They’ve earned our respect. We feel their sincerity and truly know they want what’s best for us. There are times we feel inadequate around them. We fear we can’t measure up. We want them around when we need them. But what about the rest of the time?

Now stop and think about those strong individuals in your life. Ask yourself when was the last time you asked them about their life. Who gives them advice? How do they cope with life’s curve balls?

Here are the 5 things those valuable people in your life may want you to know and what you can do for them:

1.  They don’t always want to make the decisions.

Strong people tend to step up to the plate when a need arises. They react quickly and assertively in order to provide instant direction. Movement, one way or another, is preferred over floundering.

What can you do?

Plan an evening to spoil them. Insist that they relax and let you take the reigns for a change.

2.  Sometimes they need a shoulder to lean on.

They teach people how to treat them- that’s for sure. The problem is people get used to leaning on them. It’s easy (and more comfortable) to assume that just because they’re reliable means they’re never needy.

What can you do?

Ask about their day and what’s going on in their life. Inquire about any new goals and if they’re succeeding or struggling. Give the best gift of all- interest.

3.  Their skin is not necessarily any thicker.

Just because someone is confident doesn’t mean they’re immune to unfair criticism or judgment. In fact, they may be more sensitive and intuitive to others. They may take more risks which can lead to more failures.

What can you do?

Recognize their risks and support their courage. Ask for progress reports.

4.  Weak moments don’t diminish their overall strength.  

People expect strong people to be strong all the time. It is actually in their weak moments that they learned strength. Through challenging experiences, failures and poor decisions came the strength to endure and remain strong during difficult times.

What can you do?

Tell them that a recent blip doesn’t define them. Offer praise that’s deserved and allow them to process the issues with you even if you don’t have solutions. Don’t give up just because you may not have answers. Help them help themselves.

5.  They are not always the center of attention.

Strength is often equated with being verbal, extroverted and enthusiastic. Yet strength is often unspoken, unseen and underneath. Strength is often overlooked when the outside doesn’t reveal itself on center stage.

What can you do?

Recognize and acknowledge silent achievers and those displaying courage for the sake of the effort and not for recognition. Just because they don’t act like something is a big deal doesn’t mean it isn’t a big deal to them.


Each of us has resolve. The ability to push through tough times and solve problems. To climb over obstacles. Achieve goals. Some show their armor on the outside. Others turn their insides to steel when duty calls.

But no matter how strong, everyone has seams and pinholes. Encourage their dim lights to peek through so you can turn the knob brighter for them.

Once in awhile, give those drivers in your life permission to sit in the passenger seat.

"We may not have it all together but together we have it all."


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